The Art of Observing the Secret Lives of Cats

1. When you awaken, don't make any sudden movements....
2. ... just open your eyes quietly (I've never heard loud eyelids, but it's possible...) and look at what your cat is doing.
3. If your cat is Kira, she may be poised on the dresser with the cover-less Chloroseptic squirter exactly in her butthole.
4. Take comfort in:
a. knowing that at least you witnessed this rather than you unknowingly used said Chloroseptic bottle.
b. Al's priceless words: "Well, it does have a numbing effect."